


Bring Him Home

by wormbap



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Alcohol, Blood and Injury (minor), Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-17 03:01:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13067739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wormbap/pseuds/wormbap
Summary: Sometimes Yongguk leaves. But Himchan will always be there to bring him back.





	Bring Him Home

It is long past midnight and Himchan stumbles in the dark for some time before he sees the silhouette on the riverbank. The wind is biting but his chest warms with relief. Even so, he pulls his jacket tighter around himself, chin ducking into the collar as he walks across the road towards the shadowed figure.

"You look like shit, Bbang."

The moon streaks light across his face and Himchan surveys the damage. His eyes are staring down into the water but still pretty obviously red-rimmed and swollen. Purple and blue bloom across the left side of his jaw and up around his cheekbone. There's a smear of blood beginning to form an ugly crust around his nose, some more settled into the lines of his lips, just at the corner of his mouth. When he lifts a hand to take a drag from his cigarette Himchan can see that his knuckles are split and dirty. He sighs and shakes his head but doesn't take a seat.

"You not gonna talk to me? Fine. I can still leave, if that's what you want." They both know it’s an empty threat.

"I'm sorry."

This time, Himchan sits. "Look, fuck, just- pass me the damn cigarette before you start crying on me or whatever. I can't believe you woke me up to come fetch your sorry ass. I thought you didn't smoke anymore anyway?"

"I don't. Not for real at least. These are just some shitty menthols I bummed off some guy."

Himchan snatches it anyway and takes a long pull, sighing a stream of smoke out into the cold air. He remembers learning about smoke signals as a kid, how Morse code could be sent as long and short puffs of grey into the sky. The only one he knows how to send is SOS but it's far too late for that message now.

They pass the menthol back and forth but the familiar motion only stretches a thin veneer of normalcy across a dark pit of something else. Himchan knows to tread lightly now or risk tumbling down the rabbit hole. He doesn't ask about the injuries, not just yet.

"Come home Yongguk. Just come back to the house. They're worried about you, you know?" He knows it's low to use the kids against him, but he also knows it works. Yongguk drops his face into his hands and breathes out, long and ragged and Himchan was mostly kidding about the crying thing, but now he's a little bit more concerned. "Come on, let's get you standing. We're going home." Yongguk is unsteady when heaved to his feet and his hands curl into Himchan's jacket for support.

"Drunk or hurt?"

"Just drunk. I think."

"Well, we've got a good walk ahead of us so I'm sure you'll sober up." Himchan rearranges them so that he has one arm hooked around Yongguk's waist to keep him steady and starts them walking. The streetlights seem too far apart, their acid orange glows dotted out in front of them and separated by long stretches of darkness. This could be almost romantic if in any other circumstance. Silence stretches out around them and the cold breeze coming off the river forces them to press close into each other, sharing body heat. Yongguk might be taller than him, just a little bit, but Himchan is trying not to notice how slight he seems in his arms. Sometimes he feels like he would be able to wrap both hands around his ribcage and just crush him. It's unnerving but he also knows that tomorrow Yongguk will look strong again and nights like these are just bumps in the road. As they walk, the moon is a barely-visible waning crescent at the end of its cycle and something about the knowledge that a new moon is coming puts Himchan at ease. Something about fresh starts. He pretends he can't feel his best friend shaking and walks a little bit faster when he turns down a street that puts the moon behind them.

The text that woke him had come at a quarter past two, a follow-up to several missed calls. He was tired and pissed off before he looked at his phone but came to attention instantly after he did. The number was different, but he knew who it was straight away. Anxiety flickered through him as he sat on the edge of the bed and listened to the voice messages that had been left- all silent, with maybe the slight sounds of breathing for him to even know there was someone on the other end. After that, he pulled on some clothes, shot a text back and was out the door.

 

_> can you take me home_

_I always do <_  
_give me 20 minutes <_

 

.

 

Now, Yongguk is sitting at the kitchen table, face against the cool plastic table cover and eyes closed as Himchan rummages through cupboards and drawers as quietly as he can before laying a pair of scissors down on the counter.

"I'd offer to make you something to eat because I know you don't understand what nutrition actually means but, you know, it's like three in the morning. You want a drink though?" Himchan asks, already grabbing two glasses before he receives a grunted reply. He pours two half glasses of orange juice, topping the rest up with water for Yongguk and filling his own with the dry gin that does the best job of getting him to sleep.

"I expect to see that glass empty by the time I'm back," Himchan says in his best parent voice. He doesn't look back as he leaves the room because he knows Yongguk listens to him just as well as the kids do. He gathers disinfectant along with a roll of cotton and the plaster box. When he returns, the glass is indeed empty and Yongguk is sitting upright. Himchan makes a small, gratified noise.

"You got a new phone, huh?" Himchan asks, as he pulls out the seat next to Yongguk. He's not about to ask the real questions just yet.

"Yeah. My old one broke."

"Broke? Or you broke it?"

"I threw it and it broke."

Himchan has laid all of his tools out, a tidy array of first-aid equipment. They fall into silence as Himchan pulls off a chunk of cotton, presses it to the disinfectant bottle and lets the pungent liquid soak through as he upends it. Bottle replaced, he reaches for Yongguk's face, angling him just so with careful fingers under his chin. Yongguk grimaces a little but doesn't make any noise as Himchan dabs carefully. Eventually, Himchan is finished and smoothes the plaster across his face. He throws away the little pile of bloodied cotton and returns to begin working on the buttons of Yongguk's shirt. Between long gulps of his drink Himchan’s hands slow, not quite to the point of inaccuracy. He will always criticise Yongguk for his poor eating habits, but the truth is he didn’t eat dinner today either and so the alcohol is getting to him, just a little. Yongguk, meanwhile, watches him in silence. At one point, he opens his mouth as if to say something, before only closing it and biting his lip as he looks off to the side. Himchan reaches the last button quickly and pulls it off of one shoulder before sliding it down the injured arm slowly, careful not to hurt him. Once the shirt is off, Himchan is able to finally get a proper look at the injury. It's still bleeding steadily, though it is now more of a weak, seeping stream from the wound. It must have slowed down a lot, as there is a considerable amount of drying blood that's dripped down the length of his arm, bright against his dark tan skin. Himchan mutters for Yongguk to give him a minute as he fills a bowl of water from the sink, swipes a hand towel from a cupboard and soaks it through. Even though Yongguk’s eyes are somewhat clouded over, he still watches Himchan intently.

He flinches only slightly when the towel touches his skin. Himchan works swiftly but carefully, familiar with playing doctor in this way. He dabs at Yongguk's arm until the blue towel dyes red and only a small amount of blood around the incision remains. He swirls the towel in the basin, squeezing and wringing so that blood swirls into the water. Pink is his favourite colour but at times like now it's his most hated too.

“I think it’s okay now.”

Himchan looks up at him and hesitates before shaking his head. “It’s still bleeding,” he says sternly. “It’s deep but not enough to need stitches and it's clean so… I'll just wrap it up for you for now and we can have another look at it tomorrow.” There's bruising on the arm and on the front of his shoulder and around his collarbone. The green and yellow hues blur under the dark ink of his tattoos like an ugly tie-dye backdrop.

"I don't suppose my room is still available?"

Himchan clicks his tongue as he places a piece of gauze over the cut and begins looping a bandage around it. "Yeah, sorry, it's not actually. We had a new arrival just a few days ago. Jongup brought him in. He wants to meet you," Himchan continues quickly, noticing Yongguk's hesitation. "He hasn't said as much himself but it's pretty obvious he's desperate to know who you are when the other kids are asking when you'll come back all the time. I can introduce you tomorrow, yeah?"

"He sounds young."

"He is." Himchan fastens the bandage with a safety pin and smiles, maybe a little sadly. "But he's got us now." He finishes his drink.

"Where should I..." Yongguk twists his fingers together in his lap as he continues, "I can go back to Sungwon for tonight."

"Absolutely not. He get you into this mess or was it someone else? Ah, you know what, it doesn't matter. Tell me about it in the morning. Right now, you're coming to bed."

Himchan pulls Yongguk up by the elbow and guides him to the edge of the room, where he flicks off the light and sends them both into darkness. He slides his hand up to Yongguk's neck and runs his thumb over the bruised-up side of his face, feather-light.

"I missed you so fucking much, Bbang. Please don't do this again."

There is a heavy silence between them and Himchan has turned away with one hand already on the banister when Yongguk speaks from behind him.

"I missed you too."

A hesitation. Then Himchan continues up the stairs.

Himchan's bedroom is small, but then again, so are all the rooms in their little home. Despite the small quarters, he supposes the room is technically the master bedroom as it comes with the luxury of a small ensuite. The bed is a small double and it's pushed against the one wall with a window which isn't the most convenient thing but it's the only way everything can actually fit in the room. It's getting cold enough that he might have to start putting some socks or a scarf or something along the windowsill to block the draft out. He kneels up on the bed to draw the curtains on the parking lot view and without the yellowy street lamp glow from outside, the room is fuzzy and black. Himchan brushes his teeth quickly without turning the bathroom light on, preferring to let his eyes adjust to the darkness. It takes a few minutes before Yongguk joins him in the bedroom. Himchan is in the middle of changing as Yongguk walks in and he feels the flutter of anxiety in his chest settle. He nods to the dresser briefly.

"Help yourself to clothes. You can leave the dirty stuff in the corner and I'll deal with it tomorrow."

Yongguk strips with some difficulty as he tries to shift his tight-fitting jeans down with one hand, other arm cradled protectively at his chest. Himchan knows better than to baby him to the extent of helping him undress, so he just pretends not to notice as Yongguk shimmies out of his pants, turning them half inside-out in the process, and pulls out a threadbare T-shirt and some sweatpants for himself. Yongguk doesn't attempt to put any other clothes on and kicks his jeans to the corner. He stands there with them and the other discarded clothes looking lost.

"Come here Bbang." So maybe a little more babying is needed. Himchan holds up the corner of the covers and ushers Yongguk onto the bed, watching him shuffle under the covers all the way to the far side before entering himself. Himchan is lying on his side, watching Yongguk, a good foot of space between their bodies. Yongguk has pressed his naked back up against the cold white wall and is curled into himself, looking down at his own crossed arms and bare thighs. It's been a while since Himchan had Yongguk in his company and longer since he's had him in his bed. This version of Yongguk; sad-drunk, quiet, injured; is almost unnerving to him. Himchan shuffles closer and combs his fingers through Yongguk's hair. It's longer. His hair grows so much faster than Himchan's and it makes him feel like they've been apart for a lot longer than they really have. "Come _here_ , Bbang," he repeats, a whisper this time, and they lock eyes across the bed for a moment before Yongguk rolls over and fits himself against Himchan, back to his chest.

“I missed you.” Himchan says again, because it’s true, and because it feels important. “ _We_ missed you.”

“I… I’ll try not to leave again.”

Himchan curls an arm across Yongguk’s front, palm resting over his chest, feeling his heart. He will leave again. When his skin starts to feel too tight across aching bones and his mind rushes with restless electricity. Himchan has come to understand that while he may offer Yongguk everything he has, he will not always be able to provide everything he needs. Sometimes the cold sky will help more than his warm hands but while Yongguk will always leave, he will always come back, and Himchan will never truly be left empty-handed.

“I’ll always bring you home.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever work of fanfiction, and the first time I've written creatively in a long long while (too used to University essays!) I would hugely appreciate comments, even of the one word or incoherent variety!! Hopefully this can grow into a series of one-shots?
> 
> Thank you for reading!!


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